The Bet
by lizdonaghy
Summary: After TOW the Blind Dates : What if Ross and Rachel planned out a little... payback for Joey and Phoebe. I mean, faking a relationship isn't that big a deal, right?
1. Chapter 1

**Okeydokers, authors note time. God, I love this part.**

**I'm not sure about this concept, but hey, it's a finished chapter, might as well put it out into the world. Jeeeez, methinks I must learn to finish my old stories before posting up more multi-chaps. One of my **_**many **_**weaknesses.**

**Anyhooerrrs, I wrote this in the way I'd want the actors to act it out. So please, when you're reading, think about Jen and David (lovelovelove), and their Ross and Rachel mannerisms. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this, FRIENDS would have been a movie by now. It's not, so you should take a hint.**

**Takes place: TOW the Blind Dates. **

**lobstersforever:)**

"Do you know what's weird?" Rachel asked.

"What?" Ross asked, taking another bite out of his food.

Rachel smiled and thought for a moment, "That Phoebe set's me up on a horrible blind date, and Joey sets you up for a date that doesn't even show on the same night."

"…Yeah!"

Rachel paused, "You don't think they planned this, do you?"

"No…" Ross shrugged, "It's probably just a coincidence."

His eyes darted to the window at the front of the shop, and there, pressed up against the glass was Joey and Phoebe, smiling encouragingly.

Ross turned back to Rachel and took a sip of his coffee "Oh yeah, they planned it."

"Why, _why _would they do that?!" Rachel exclaimed, falling backwards onto the couch.

"You know…" Ross started, leaning closer to her, "If we run now, we could catch them off guard."

Joey shot them an obnoxious thumbs up.

"We _could _do that…" Rachel stretched out the word, "Or…"

"You have that look, Rachel Greene." Ross interrupted suspiciously, putting down his coffee cup. "You have a plan."

"We should get them back for tonight. What they did was mean." Rachel pouted, "I think they should understand the _pain _I went through, having dinner with that _creep_."

Ross shrugged, "at least I got free crab cakes out of it."

Rachel scrunched her nose, "_Anyways_, I think the point of that was to get us back together, right?"

"They're still on that?!" Ross exclaimed, turning back towards the window, where Joey and Phoebe had started pretending to be wrapped up in deep conversation. "Don't they know that our relationship is complicated, and that we don't-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Ross!" Rachel interrupted impatiently.

"Excuse me?" Ross blinked.

Rachel leaned in so their noses were an inch apart, "We could make them feel guilty about trying to mess with our already screwed up relationship!"

"How is kissing you going to make them feel guilty?" Ross asked slowly.

"Duh!" Rachel threw her hands up, "We'll make it seem like we fell back in love, then when we have a huge break up and mess up everyone else's lives again, they'll feel so bad for trying to fiddle with us. Also, it'll cause everyone to stop pestering us about our lives!"

Ross chuckled, "I guess… but even bigger than our first break up? Hey Rach, remember? '_we were on a break_.'"

When Rachel silenced his laughs with a glare, Ross continued, "This isn't right, Rach. Faking a relationship? Doesn't that make everything more complicated?"

Rachel snorted, "More complicated then we already are?"

Ross shrugged, "True, but what about Emma?"

"What _about_ Emma?"

"How's this going to affect her?" Ross clarified, "Her parents dating, but only to screw over their friends…"

"She's too small to realize anything! You don't have any memories until you're about two! We have a ways to go." Rachel waved her hand around mindlessly. Ross sent her a dumbfounded look, "I _do _read, okay?"

"You really think this is a good idea?" Ross asked, looking back at the window.

"C'mon, Ross! Let me have some fun… I just spent hours with a guy would wouldn't stop talking about his _erectile malfunctions_." Rachel shuddered.

"Ew, really?!"

"Yep, in detail." Rachel nodded.

Ross took a moment to shudder, when Rachel sighed loudly, "Do you want to do this or not?"

"Are we going to have to lie to _everyone_?" Ross asked once more.

"By everyone do you mean Mon and Chandler?"

"Yes… and anyone who inquires. Our parents?" Ross took a sip of coffee.

"Sure. Why not?" Rachel sat up straight and clapped her hands, "OOH! We could make a game out of this!"

"I _love _games!" Ross exclaimed enthusiastically.

"I bet 20 dollars that we can convince everyone that we're getting married in one week." Rachel grinned.

"Married?!"

"Why not?" Rachel asked. "You've done it with me before."

"Isn't that… too serious? Why don't we make it just a dating thing. We can convince them that we're dating and in love."

"Just that?" Rachel shook her head, "Listen, Ross. There's no challenge. I could win that bet in three seconds, all I'd have to do is kiss you and they'd believe we're happy and in love."

"That's true… but _marriage?_" Ross emphasized, "Don't you think I've done enough playing around with that concept?"

"C'mon, Ross!" Rachel whined, "Think of their reactions!"

"Oh yes, lying to my best friends to toy with their emotions, _big fun_." Ross exclaimed sarcastically.

"You must have _some _competitive gene, Monica couldn't have gotten all of it! Think about it, how are people gonna look when we tell them that _we_, crazy complicated Ross and Rachel settled down?" Rachel pressed.

Ross stared at her, "I've always wondered what that would look like…"

"Also, there's money at steak! You could finally go out and buy that fossil replication thingy you want." Rachel encouraged, "So what do you say? 20 says we can make it seem like we're engaged in _one week_."

"That's way too long." Ross waved his hand, suddenly exited "Fifty says we can do it in three days."

"In three days?!" Rachel exclaimed, "Are you crazy?"

Ross grinned and stuck his hand out, "Will you take the bet?"

Rachel smiled, "You're gonna be out a lotof money, mister." She placed her hand in his, "So, if we can convince everyone that we're in love in three days, fifty is yours. If it takes longer than that, fifty is mine."

"Deal." Ross started to shake their hands, but Rachel intertwined their fingers and dropped their locked hands onto her lap.

"Starting now?" She asked, with a mischievous grin.

Ross smiled and leaned in slowly. He pressed his lips onto hers for a brief moment, and pulled away with a smirk. Rachel giggled and squeezed his hand.

"I can't see them, cause the window's behind me. How do they look?" Rachel asked through her smile.

Ross simply smiled.

**lobstersforever:)**

**All reviewers get a complementary home-made (**_**cough**_**, storebought) cookie! MM, Pillsbury. **

**They also get a preview of the next chapter, but that's not as awesome as the virtual cookie. **

**xo hazel : ) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Anyways, I'm currently sick and can't really get out of bed. So seems like a good time to post a chapter, right? Haha.**

**Oh goodness, it's been a while. 2 years since the last chapter? I told you all that I'****m awful at updating xD So sorry about that. I'm currently rocking my jobs and in two days I'll be starting summer school (damn full senior schedule). However, this summer, along with balancing all that madness, I PROMISE I'm going to be writing like crazy. This chapter has actually been in storage for the LONGEST time, I've had it ready for ages. The last few years have been so hectic…**

**Anyhoo, enjoy (: **

"I'm telling you!" Joey exclaimed, "They kissed! They held hands the whole way back to their apartment!"

"I can't believe it." Monica breathed out, "Are they back together?"

"Probably! You could see Ross' eyes shining with glee!" Phoebe called from the balcony window.

"_Phoebe_! What are you doing out there?"

"I'm spying on the future Doctor and Mrs. Geller." Phoebe explained, waving her arms around randomly. "It's boring, they're just watching TV."

Phoebe paused and stuck her head through the window, "Yo, Mon! Do you still have those binoculars?"

As Monica rushed to the bedroom, Chandler stared at her in disbelief. "Do you actually expect me to spy on our two best friends with _binoculars_? Isn't that a total disregard of their personal space?"

"You used to spy on the yoga instructor girl this exact same way." Monica called as she returned a pair of binoculars and an old telescope.

"Fair enough."

As the pair went to join Phoebe on the balcony, she called, "Hey, Joey! Can you bring out a couple of blankets and some popcorn?"

Monica squinted into the binoculars, "It kinda looks like Ross is doing his '_Watching TV'_' bit…"

Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel were laughing hysterically at a blank screen.

"What's the point of this, Ross?" Rachel asked through fake giggles.

"They'll think we're watching TV instead of mapping out our game plan." Ross explained. "So, how's this gonna work."

Rachel took the remote and pretended to turn the TV off, "Well, let them think we're having a very in depth conversation about everything. This fake-watching this is really getting annoying."

Ross turned to face her, his back towards the window "Are they still staring at us from the living room?"

"Nope, they're on the balcony now." Rachel squinted, "_Oh _my god, they have binoculars!"

Ross quickly grabbed her hand, which was lifted to point at them through the window, "RACH! We can't let them know we see them! Be a _little _subtle, wont you?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Rachel mumbled.

"Okay, so… back to the point." Ross left her hand in his as he placed it down on his lap, "How's this going to work?"

Rachel smiled at the familiarity of the feeling of their hands intertwined, but then shook her head "Um… I really don't know. We pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend… and you… propose?"

"You know how much I love proposals."

"You never proposed to me!" Rachel pouted.

"Would you have said yes if I did?" Ross asked. "For all you know, it could have been planned, but never executed."

"I might have said yes!

Ross smirked, "Sure you would have."

"Maybe!" Rachel pushed on his chest jokingly. "I was so in love with you back then."

"Do we go to Monica's and Chandlers tomorrow as a couple? Like, walk in holding hands or whatever?" Ross asked before he broke out into a grin, "You know what would be fun?"

"Ordering pizza?" Rachel noticed Ross' expression. "What? I'm hungry!"

"We should pretend that we're _hiding _the fact that we're back together!"

Rachel blinked. "So… fake that we're hiding a fake relationship?"

"All while really faking that fake relationship that we're hiding" Ross nodded.

Rachel slowly started to smile, "I like it. Almost as much as the pizza idea. It'll drive them crazy." Her eyes darted over Ross' shoulder to look out the window. "Oh my god! They have popcorn!" She sighed wistfully.

"We'll order pizza after. Concentrate first!"

Rachel grumbled but then continued, "Okay, so we go pick up Emma like nothing happened, then we'll stage something that makes them seem like they 'caught' us, you propose, we be couple-y, we break up and go HA in Phoebe and Joey's faces."

Ross nodded. "That's the plan."

Rachel glanced at the clock on Ross' DVD player, "Its getting late. We should go pick up Emma."

Ross nodded and was about to stand up when Rachel leaned forward and kissed him.

"Don't look shocked." She murmured against his lips, "They can see you."

"THEY'RE KISSING!" Monica shrieked.

They all jumped back

"MY GOD, Monica! We have eyes, you know?" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Too bad we can no longer say that about our eardrums." Chander whined.

Ross pulled back slightly and smiled at her, "How much of this before we go leave the apartment?"

Rachel thought for a moment, "Well, if we were really in love, haven't been together since Emma's conception…"

Ross leaned forward and kissed her again, lowering her down back onto the couch.

"THEY'RE STILL KISSING!" Monica squealed.

Joey paused and looked on, "You _do _realize that's your _brother _we're watching right now. If they keep going on the way that they are, you might see… stuff."

Monica shuddered. "I'm going to go check on Emma."

Rachel and Ross started kissing more passionately. Somehow they flipped and now Rachel was laying on top of Ross.

Phoebe shuddered. "Maybe we should _all _check on Emma."

Ross opened his eyes and turned slightly. "They've left the balcony." He whispered breathlessly.

Rachel sat up, somewhat flustered, "Okay, lets close the blinds, wait a bit, and then go."

She stood up completely and went to draw the curtains closed. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at Ross strangely. "How far are we going to have to go with each other for this?"

Ross flattened his shirt and tried to steady his breathing. "I have no idea."

"I mean… do we have to… do stuff?"

Ross looked at her and repeated, "I have no idea."

Back at Monica and Chandlers, the group was sitting in the living room. Chandler was bouncing Emma on his knee.

"When do you think they're going to remember that they left their kid here?" He asked. Emma cooed.

Phoebe looked out the window, "Well, they've closed the blinds so Ross should be finished in about…" the door swung open, "Now."

"Hey you guys!" Rachel chirped as she sauntered in. "Where's my baby?"

Emma cooed and Rachel went over and scooped her up in her arms, "Hi sweetie!"

"Hey Rach!" Phoebe smirked, "How was your date?"

"Awful. That guy you set me up with was such a creep." Rachel shuddered. "Remind me never to accept a blind date invitation from you again."

Monica grinned excitedly, "So what happened afterwards?"

"I went home and decontaminated myself."

Joey smirked, "Hm, I was home all day and I didn't see you."

Rachel paused, "I meant my home… away from home? I went to the coffee house."

Rachel winced. _Man, I'd fail at hiding something for real_.

The group smirked knowingly at her. "So where's Ross?"

Rachel sat on the chair near the TV, "I have no idea, why?"

"Just wondering." Monica smiled.

"Well, I wouldn't know." Rachel stood up and balanced Emma on her hip, "Anyways, I'm going to go across the hall. I'm dead tired. Thanks again for watching Emma you guys."

"Anytime." Chandler turned back towards the group as Rachel left. "She's so obvious."

Monica smirked, "She's only obvious because we _saw _them. You're awful at detecting lies."

"But did you see her hair?" Chandler waved his hand around, "She had bed hair!"

"Technically," Phoebe interrupted, "They probably did it on the couch so she would have couch hair."

"How long do you think they're going to hide it from us?" Monica asked.

"Shouldn't we just tell them we know?" Joey whined.

"No!" Phoebe exclaimed, "Joey, don't you understand? They're probably together because of the excitement of hiding their renewed love! That's probably why Chandler and Monica lasted all that time!"

Chandler and Monica both nodded.

"Fine!" Joey exclaimed. "But I won't like it!"

Across the hall, Rachel had set down Emma to go to sleep and was flipping through the channels when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me. How'd it go?"

Rachel turned the TV down and stated sarcastically "They we're incredibly subtle."

"Did they ask about me at all?"

"Yeah, they wanted to know where you were. I just said I had no idea."

Ross nodded, "Good. Okay, so I think that now that Emma's asleep, we should meet up again and discuss a bit more."

Rachel nodded and said, "Okay, my place or yours?"

The door swung open and Joey walked in. "Who's place?"

Rachel spun around. "No ones. I'm just returning a call from work."

"Is that Joey?" Ross whispered from the other end of the phone.

"Yep, I'll see _you_ bright and early in the morning. I'll have those plans all set and ready for the meeting. Anyways, I gotta go. Thanks Ralph."

"So my place. What time?"

"I think there are about _eleven_ of those polos left."

"That's not _'bright and early'_." Ross smirked.

"Bye, Ralph."

Rachel hung up and turned to Joey. "Work. Such a pain, right?"

Joey reached into the fridge, "Since when does Ralph Lauren call you personally?"

"Since… always."

"Okay." Joey shrugged. "Do you want a beer?"

Rachel shook her head and faked a yawn, "No thanks, Joe. I think I'll just turn in for the night.

Joey glanced at the clock. "Its like, 10."

Rachel nodded, "Yeah, but I gotta get up really early."

Joey shrugged, "Okay. 'Night, Rach."

Before she went to her room, Rachel turned around, "Hey, Joe? Do you mind if Emma sleeps in your room just for tonight? I'm going to be out… uh, like a light, so I wont be able to hear her if she cries."

Joey sat in front of the tv, "Yeah, sure. I'll just stick her playpen in my room."

"Thanks a million."

Rachel went inside her room, leaving the door open. She looked over at Emma who was sleeping peacefully in her crib. Rachel walked over and held Emma's tiny hand for a moment before lifting her up, carefully trying not to wake her. Emma's eyes opened briefly before she curled up comfortably in her mother's arms. Rachel kissed her forehead and walked slowly to Joey's room.

Joey had already placed Emma's playpen in the middle of his room. Rachel lowered her gently in and tucked a blanket over her.

"Thanks Joe."

Joey shrugged, "No problem. "

Rachel pointed towards her room, "I'm gonna head in now. 'Night, Joey."

"Goodnight Rach."

Joey watched as she retreated back towards her room before grabbing the phone. He dialed Monica and Chandler's and waited impatiently for them to answer.

"Hello?"

"OH! Chandler! Thank gosh. You'll never guess what!"

Rachel, inside her room, was searching for the second phone which had fallen underneath her bed. Managing to reach it, she raised her fist in the air triumphantly and began to dial Ross' number.

Once she had finished dialing, she lifted the phone up to her ear only to hear voices.

"Rach? Were you just dialing?"

Rachel winced and hung up quickly.

_Yep, I'd be terrible at doing this for real. _

**xoxo – Gossip Girl**

**or lizdonaghy. Whichever you think sounds better. **

**Review?**


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